Have you ever given any thought to "If you ever won the lottery, what would you spend it on"? 

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I've been thinking about donating to something for a very long time.  I never wanted to be rich beyond my wildest dreams, but I've wanted to be well off enough that I could afford to make a decent chunk of a donation to somewhere at the end of every year.  As an author, that dream was probably the biggest one to try to reach.  

 

When I started writing books for publication, I joined a group that puts out an anthology every year. They donate all of the proceeds from books sales to an animal shelter. That group alone has funded the addition of an entire wing at a no kill shelter, 5 years in a row.  I knew I what I wanted to do was possible.

Maybe not all at once, but over the course of a year, why the hell not?  

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I explored programs for homeless teens and young adults.  I've ventured the idea of donating to animal rescues, programs for veterans, and even hospitals,  along the way. They are all great options and can all use the help, but I needed something I've had a great deal of interaction with. Something I know personally.  I've got a huge heart for animals and children, but nothing has touched my life the way mental illness has.   

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You see, I suffer from a mental illness myself and so does one of my children. I don't advertise it, because I have to work really hard to keep from letting it determining who I am, or what I am or am not capable of.  I struggle with it every day.  I have to push myself to focus and function, even when I don't think I can. I have to work, despite physical pain, depression, mental highs and lows, emotional outbursts for no obvious reason, and that's just the tip of the ice berg.  

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I've been through some tough times.  I've made some rash decisions when I wasn't thinking clearly, and suffered dearly for them. I've been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts or attempts more times than I want to openly admit.  I've bounced around from job to job, been without health insurance through most of it.  When things were too tough, and hospitalization wasn't an option, NAMI was there.  They listened.  They gave me a place to voice my situations anonymously just to get them out of me, and they have resources I never knew existed.  I'm here now because of them, more than once. 

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I've dealt with stigma for a long time.  I've had my abilities questioned. My closest friends and family have ridiculed me because I can't just do things like normal people do.  Everyone has doubted me.  I've been called crazy more than once, and not just because I've chosen Author as my career. 

 

It happens all the time. We don't even realize we are doing it.  We find out  that a friend we have known forever has been diagnosed with something we don't understand, suddenly, we are unsure of how to behave around them.  Will we set them off? Are they now more dangerous than they were?  Are they going to be a lot more work than I have the energy for? Are they going to need me more? They are never going to be normal. These are stigmas.  They are real, and they hurt a lot more than people realize. We don't want to be thought of as crazy.  We don't want you to wonder if we will suddenly flip out on you at some point. We don't want you to feel bad for us. We just want to be who we are and that be ok. 

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NAMI is all about eliminating stigmas that come with having a mental illness. Their goal is to bring awareness of the fact that we are still people, despite having an illness you can't physically see. They also help people, like me, deal with our illness and accomplish the things we set out to do, despite our difficulties.  

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So, I chose them.  They are my cause. They are who I give back to.  They have given so much to me, in too many ways to count .  They are where I want to send that lump sum lottery winning pot to.  

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I'll likely never win the lottery, because you can't win if you don't play?   I'm not helpless to reach my goals and live my dreams, though.  I've written and published 4 books now, and more are on the horizon. I can reach this one too. It may not be this week, but my goal is by the end of this year, I will be able to make a donation of $10,000. 

 

I could use your help making that happen.  I will gladly accept random donations should you choose to make them, but being able to earn what is donated is part of my dream. To work for it, despite my inability to function some days.  I'm bipolar, but I'm doing it. 

 

So, I've set it up so that when you buy signed copies of any of my paperbacks, $5 from each book goes into the end of the year $10,000 donation fund. I opened the Swag Shop and $10 of every $50 purchase will also go into the fund.  I'll be doing fundraiser auctions and other events throughout the year to help reach or exceed this goal. 

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This is how determined I am to give back. Won't you join me? 

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